Panda happiness

I went to see Della Dare at a burlesque showcase at the Bowery Poetry Club. She was beautiful, as usual. : ) The World Famous *BOB* was emceeing, and she said something that got to me - she doesn't want to live in a world where she can't shave her eyebrows and wear glitter! Or something like that. It made me think about how boring I have become these days, with my ties and such, walking three blocks to work in an office. What a rebel I am - unbuttoning the top button of my button-up shirt! The next day, I dug out the kids' panda hat I bought years ago at Space Kiddets, and that I've been too self-conscious to wear more than once or twice (and usually only when I was blotto). I wore it to work. A woman I passed on the way laughed her head off! But she wasn't laughing at me, I felt - believe it or not. I think she was laughing because my hat made her happy. It made me happy, too, and I wore it all day. But then I ran into Martin at around 6 p.m. and he looked at me in a way that made me feel crazy, and I took it off. Imagine - Martin made me feel ashamed of my hat! He of the medallions and low-cut blouses. Still, I feel like the hat served its purpose that day. And Martin should have seen me back in the day - I wore panda hats, rode on hobby horses, and had 911 on speed-dial. When I think about the latter, I feel like the true rebellion for me is still being alive.