I was lurking about in Union Square this past week when I saw the most amazing hat ever! A cat! Ahhhhhhhh! I tried to take a surreptitious picture of this sight, but the man with the cat hat saw me, and tried to shake me down for one dollar. I talked him down to 50 cents. What a racket! Why can't my stupid cat help me shake down pedestrians in a public square? C'mon, Colonel! Of course, he would never lift a paw to help me. And if I ever put the Colonel on my head in public, I would soon be wearing a hat made of blood.