Measuring tape

My crazy friend Babatunde came over last night to measure me for a blouse. (Of course, he measured me for everything, despite my pleas to just measure me for a top, but I think he just wanted to put his hand in my crotch. "Inseam measurement" - ha!) Babatunde told me that my waist was a "couture 36," but I produced several pants that disproved him. I'm a 32 waist, damn it! How could I possibly be a 36 waist? I'm 6 feet tall and weigh 165 pounds! (And I've lost 15 pounds since the New Year). I told him that his tape measure was defective.

Everytime Babatunde comes over, I have to practically call the police to get him to leave. Last night, he:

• indicated that he would be delivering me some "sausage" when he delivers my shirt in a week. I wisely declined;


• tried to haggle me upwards on his shirt-making fee, when I told him going in that my limit was $100. $100 for a blouse seems high enough, Babatunde! He must think my name is Money Mike;


• told me about some book of "tops and bottoms" he'd like to put together - this idea actually interested me, but I am completely ignorant about how to put together a fashion book;


• hugged me four times. :)

I can't wait to see how my first commissioned blouse turns out. And today is the first day of the Barney's Warehouse Sale, too! My fashion luck is changing - I can feel it.